I've been meditating over something that our pastor said in a sermon a couple of weeks ago.
"It's not about what's in our hands. It's about what's in our hearts."
I think this verse from Joel, gives us something to think about in this regard. Joel says to "Rend your heart and not your garments". In other scriptures, the tearing of a person's clothing would signify a type of grief. Tearing their clothes was a big deal because clothes were not easy to come by like the are for us. They couldn't just go to a mall and pick up something else to wear. It was not cheap to make new clothes and it took time.
I was trying to think of something that might be equivalent for us today and the first thing that came to mind was my car. I could destroy my car because of my guilt and grief to show others how much grief I feel over something. Man, that would stink. I would have to save up money and figure out a way to get around until I was able to get another car. And every time I needed to go somewhere I would remember my grief.
But in this verse, Joel tells us it isn't about what we do on the outside to show that we are grieved or feel guilt for our sins. It is about what's in our heart, which God can see by the way. He knows....even if I were to destroy my car and make a huge outward sign to others...he knows if my heart truly feels the pain of what I've done. In another translation it says, "Tear your hearts, not just your clothes, and return to the Lord your God." - Joel 2:13 (HCS) This really speaks to me. We should be torn up inside and fully repentant for God to consider showing grace. Otherwise, what point is there because we will likely turn right back to the sin that caused our grief in the first place.
Last night, my oldest son got in trouble for not listening when he was told to do something. It was a simple something. It only involved sitting still and being a good example for his younger brother. He chose several times not to do what he was told and so he paid a consequence of going to his room and not participating in what we were doing as a family. When he was taken to his room, he cried like I have never heard him cry before. It was as if his heart was broken - torn apart. Once he calmed down, we talked about what happened and he was able to come back into the living room but the activity he wanted to participate in was already over. Later that night he told me he would be better next time because he wanted to be able to finish playing with everyone. He understood the consequence of his actions and because of his "broken heart" he was able to determine that he did not want to go down that path again. If only we could realize our sin and repent as quickly as a child.
I happen to think verse 14 is quite funny. Joel says, "Who knows? He may turn and have pity..." Truthfully, who knows but God what the outcome of our repentance will be. Ultimately, we don't know if God will change the circumstances our sin has placed us in. What we can know is that God is good and kind. He is compassionate and will see us through, even if our consequences leave us in a situation that is difficult to navigate or seems impossible to understand. God is there and his love will surround us.
My prayer this week is that God will reveal my sin so that I may fully repent with a heart that is torn apart.
Have a blessed week!
