The Irresistible Wife

Wow...how times gets away from me. Ethan is 8 1/2 months old now. Crawling, pulling up, taking little steps as he plays with his toys. He is getting so big and strong. He says "da-da" ALL THE TIME! :) Nathan is quite proud...and honestly, I am proud for him. He is such a good dad. I couldn't ask for better.

Over the past month or so I have been quite burdened in my life in regards to church and my relationship with Christ. Growing up I was very involved in church and enjoyed all the relationships that I built there. I know that God has had me in his hands all this time, molding me into the person I am today. Although I know that he is with me, I have chosen to lead a life over the past few years that does not involve what he may have for my life. Nathan and I have started visiting a church recently that we both enjoy. The people are nice and the music is wonderful. Most importantly, the message and preaching touch me deeply and inspire me to make changes in my life.

Last weekend Ethan and I went to church by ourselves because Nathan had to work. The sermon was about "The Irresistible Wife." In short, I am a "good" wife but I don't think I am a Godly wife. A Godly wife is not a control freak like me, with something to say about every little thing...she calmly prays for her husband and follows him in the direction that God has set for their lives. Not that she doesn't have input but her words to her husband should be supportive in so many ways. I am praying daily that I will surrender to this type of living. I honestly believe that if I can let go of the control that I seek so much I will find a peace like I have never had before. For so long I have enjoyed the "chaos" of my life but suddenly I find myself longing for the calm of the day. I know that this calm can be found in Christ and the life I should be living in Him.

I am not sure what many of you will think of this post but I am ready to start a new sort of journey. One where I feel fulfilled and my family is full of joy. I want to commit to His purpose once again. So, here I go. Thanks for listening. :)

4 Months

Well, our baby is now a little over 4 months old! Time flies by so fast! I haven't blogged lately but it is hard to blog when you would rather be playing with a sweet little baby. :)

Overall, Ethan's first few months have been an absolute joy! He started sleeping through the night before 2 months old and with a few exceptions he is still sleeping extremely well. I still can't believe what a wonderful demeanor he has...always smiling, laughing and just enjoying life. He is now rolling over both ways, rolling from his back to his belly, holding up his head with his arms while lying on his tummy, putting weight on legs, creeping across the floor a little and so much more. Of course, as a speech pathologist, I would love for him to be way ahead when it comes to verbalizing...however, I think this little boy is going to be all about moving! He does coo and "talk" to us...it is like he is having a full conversation sometimes...so cute!

A little over a month ago we had quite a scare. Nathan and I noticed a slight ridge on Ethan's head and took him to his pediatrician to have it checked out. They were concerned that he had a condition where the skull bones fuse too soon. We were so worried since they sometimes have to do a major skull/head surgery if this is the diagnosis. Immediately, we asked for lots of prayer from all our friends and family. We got in to see Dr. Sami with St. John's very quickly and were OVERJOYED to find out that he only had a slight case of torticollis. The muscles on the left side of his neck were "too tight" causing him to lean his head to that side more often. We did a little bit of physical therapy and things cleared up pretty quickly. This experience has given me so much more empathy for parents who go through horribly scary experiences with outcomes not as positive as ours. The love you find for your child is so much different than anything you could imagine...and the pain you feel when something might be wrong with your child is excruciating. We are so blessed that Ethan is a happy, healthy baby. Thanks to everyone who said a prayer for our little boy. We could feel your concern and compassion for us... it was so comforting!

At his four month check-up, Ethan was in the 30th percentile for his weight and 50th percentile for height...up from 20th percentile for both at birth. He is definitely growing and learning with each new day. Can't wait to see what the next few months bring! :)

Ethan's Arrival

I have been meaning to sit down and write about Ethan's arrival but somehow have not found the time. Ha! Here is a little bit of the story of his arrival. :)

On January 17th, I went to the doctor and my blood pressure was beginning to elevate. They sent me to triage at the hospital for some tests and put me on bed rest. My first thought was..."Bed rest for three weeks?" I wasn't sure that I could make it, but apparently God knew I couldn't make it. On Wednesday, January 19th, Nathan and I went to the doctor's office prepared for another possible trip to the hospital. With my blood pressure going higher and my lab work not looking so hot they sent me to the hospital to be induced. I was filled with so many emotions - excitement, uncertainty, concern, joy...the list could probably go on. Nathan was obviously filled with one emotion - nervousness.

Just after getting settled in at the hospital

Once we arrived at the hospital, they got an IV started and began to induce my labor. I had been uncertain about having an epidural but once the nurse explained the risks of not having one with my blood pressure I opted to have one placed. This portion of the process was quite difficult for me because I am so afraid of needles. I am the girl that passes out every time I have my blood draw unless I lay flat...and I get weak just thinking about blood. Honestly though, looking back, I would do it again. It was almost painless and definitely relieved my pain completely.

**From this point until Ethan was born I remember little of what happened. Nathan had to fill me in a couple of days later.

A doctor came and broke my water. The fluid was apparently blood tinged and my doctor decided that internal monitoring of the baby was a good idea. Thank God they chose to do this because Ethan's heart rate began to drop with each contraction. I could not see the screen keeping track of his heart rate but Nathan said that you could just see the line plummet below "normal." Instantly there were about three or four more people in the room trying to reposition me so that Ethan's heart rate would become more stable. Initially they were not having a lot of success and were telling us that they would have to take me to do a c-section right away. My doctor was only 15 minutes from the hospital but they did not think we could wait that long. Nathan said that they threw scrubs at him and told him to change. Thankfully, they were able to get Ethan's heart rate climbing back up and we were able to wait for my doctor to arrive at the hospital to perform emergency c-section. By this time, I was shaking and scared. I didn't really know what was going on but I knew it couldn't be good.

My doctor came in and talked to me and then they took me to the operating room. Nathan had to wait in my labor and delivery room until they went back to get him. EVERYONE was so nice and understanding of my fear and uncertainty. I cannot count how many times they reassured me and made sure that I was doing alright. They brought Nathan in right before they began the procedure. He was so wonderful. The adrenaline of everything going on around him really gave him a strength to be there for me. Throughout the procedure I was very shaky...which, I now know, is apparently normal. At the time, I wasn't sure why I was shaking and kept trying to control my body. Most of the procedure was full of very odd sensations although I didn't feel any pain.

When Ethan was born I heard him cry almost instantly. Someone made a comment about how alert he was. He became quiet fairly quickly. I watched Nathan as he stood over Ethan while they cleaned him off and checked him over. Nathan took a few pictures. One of the doctors brought Ethan to me. I was able to touch his little leg and say hello. Once they got him all wrapped up Nathan held him and looked so proud. I will never forget these special moments.

Our first family photo :)

The remainder of my surgery took an added amount of time because of some excess bleeding that I had. By the time I left the operating room I was already starting to feel pain. Nathan and I took a few moments to get a couple of pictures before with us together as a family before they took me back to my room. Because of some issues with the IV line for my morphine, I was in quite a bit of pain for the next two to three hours. I have never felt a pain like this and do not really wish to feel that kind of pain again. In addition, I was very nauseated. Due to their concerns related to my blood pressure I had to stay on the labor and delivery floor for 24 hours. It was a long 24 hours. There are many other details of this part of my experience that I will spare you. I will just say that as much as having a c-section scared me, the aftermath of the c-section was very intense for me personally. I am not sure that this would have been the case if I had gone in prepared for a c-section...the whole process was quite overwhelming having not been ready for it.

On Thursday evening, a full 24 hours after Ethan was born, I was moved to a regular room on the Mother's Unit. I got a good night's sleep. The next morning I was soooooo hungry. I have never been so happy to order food in my life! Ha!

Another funny fact...I lost my voice while I was on labor and delivery...why, I am not sure. But for someone who loves to talk it was quite difficult for the next couple of days until my voice recovered. Over the next two days we had several visitors and enjoyed some very special moments with our new little one. On Saturday around noon they let us take him home. It was quite a crazy ride to meet Ethan for the first time but he is such a blessing in our lives. He was worth everything I went through and more. We are loving every moment we get to spend with him. :)

Calm and quiet little Ethan
6 lbs 9 ozs, 20 inches long
Born January 19, 2011 at 9:01 PM

The Last Few Weeks

How crazy?!? I will be 37 weeks (also known as "full term") in just 5 days! I cannot believe that we are this close to meeting our little baby boy! Things are still going wonderfully. I started my weekly doctor appointments this past Monday and I will go every Monday from here until he arrives. The doctor said that I am already starting to dilate and become effaced. I have also been having some contractions inconsistently. We will see if all this might mean that we get to meet our baby a little early. Nathan and I are both going back and forth between nervousness and excitement on a daily basis. I just cannot wait to hold Ethan and watch Nathan as he enjoys being a Dad. It is going to be the most amazing experience!!

The girls at work are giving me a baby shower this Wednesday after work. I am so blessed to work with a wonderful group of women. Every day I am in awe of the blessings I have in my life at home, as well as at work. I could have never dreamed that I would find a job that I enjoyed so much, with people that make it that much better!

We continued a tradition this year for New Year's Eve by joining all his co-workers to celebrate. I believe that this is the 3rd year we have done this and I love it! This year was a little different since I am pregnant. I spent most of the night on the couch catching some Zzzz's and keeping my feet up to avoid swelling. But you better believe I was up at midnight to ring in the New Year with everyone. What an exciting new year it will be for us.

Nathan has already told me that he has Ethan's first father-son outing planned. I had no clue what he was thinking when he mentioned it...and he quickly informed me that he would be taking his son to a record convention so that he can begin teaching him about vinyl early on. Ha! Out little boy is going to love his daddy. You just never know what you are going to get into with him! I really thought he was going to talk about an outing to a lake or river nearby...maybe a trip to Bass Pro Shops...possibly take him to a park or the nature center. But no...my husband wants to teach our baby about vinyl records. Should be interesting...LOL!

Well, time to go off to dream land. Hopefully my next post will be all about meeting baby Ethan.

What's in a name?

Ethan Michael...

Before I got pregnant I used to tease Nathan about picking out baby names. One day he came home from work and announced, "I thought of a baby name today." I was shocked but excited...and curious. He announced his pick of "Ethan" and explained how he liked it because it was similar to his name. I told him that I liked it too and we never really mentioned it much again.

When we found out we were pregnant this year Nathan decided instantly that he thought we were having a girl. He would barely discuss boy names so we decided on a girl name that we both really liked. I was so set to the fact that we were having a girl because EVERYONE (except maybe two or three people) said they really felt like we would have a girl also. When the ultrasound technician told us we were having a boy I was shocked. Even a week after we found out I would still catch myself saying aloud, "I can't believe we're having a boy." Nathan would just laugh at me every time I said it. :)

Needless to say, at least we already had a first name picked out so I didn't have to go through a bunch of baby name books and websites again. Now it was on to the middle name. My middle name is a family name that is very important to me so I had already told Nathan he couldn't argue about a girl's middle name. His response? Well, then you can't argue about a boy's middle name. Eeeek! The control freak in my got a little worried initially but then I thought...how bad could it be?

All the middle names Nathan came up with were wonderful...all family names that had some kind of meaning to him. In the end, he chose to go with his dad's first name, Michael. I LOVE IT! I have started writing it sometimes and even signing some thank you cards with "Baby Ethan." A little silly but it is just too exciting not to include him.

Growing and growing

It has been way, way, way too long since I posted here. Sorry! After my 20 week appointment when we found out we are having a little boy I became so busy traveling for baby showers that the internet took a back seat in my schedule. :)

On September 25 I had my first baby shower in Oklahoma. It was wonderful and so peaceful. My friend Jessica planned everything and my family and couple of friends joined us at Zio's for a relaxing lunch. I got some wonderful gifts and I really treasure each and every one of them!

On October 6 I flew home for two baby showers in Texas with my family and friends. The first shower was on Saturday, October 9 at my grandma's house. My cousin planned this one and, again, it was perfect! I got to visit with ladies that I have known all my life and see their excitement as I talked about how things are progressing in my pregnancy. My great aunt handmade a beautiful quilt for the baby and my cousin embroidered two diaper clothes with the baby's name. All the other gifts were wonderful but these two were extra special.

On Sunday, October 10, I had a baby shower at my mom's house. Two friends of my mom's took care of the planning and I enjoyed some silly games and lots of good food. It was great to visit with friends and church family that I don't get to see much. My little sister gave me a quilt that she made. It is absolutely precious and I know that our little one will love it the most out of all his blankets/quilts. :) I got so many things that we will need as we prepare for a our little boy.

During my Texas baby shower weekend I began to really feel the baby move a lot! It has been so exciting. My grandma and my mom both felt him move while I was visiting. I was so happy to share this special moment with them. After I got home I thought he would never stop wiggling around. Nathan has felt him move quite a bit and sometimes during the day at work I find myself getting distracted as I pay attention to his somersaults. A couple of days ago Nathan's mom got to feel him move for the first time also.

Overall, I am feeling really great. My belly is growing but it is not so big that I am uncomfortable. I still have quite a bit of energy. I have not been sick or really had any major, painful symptoms. I count my blessings daily for such a wonderful pregnancy. With my third trimester just over the horizon, I know that I may start to become more fatigued and uncomfortable. I feel fairly prepared for this and have great support from Nathan and all the ladies I work with. They won't let me do too much. :)

This weekend I have the last of my family baby showers. Nathan's family is putting everything together and I cannot wait to see everyone. This little baby is going to have more than he needs for sure...but it is all filled with love and I know he will feel all that love as well!!

Below is a picture of me at 22 weeks and another at 25 weeks. All the weeks are really beginning to fly by!

It's a Boy!!

Yesterday was my ultrasound to check out the baby and see if we were having a boy or girl. As you can tell from the title....It's a Boy!! My mom was able to fly up and spend the weekend with me. On Monday, my mom and Nathan's mom got to enjoy taking a peek at the baby with us. It was so neat to see him move around and see his little arms and legs. The ultrasound technician told us we were probably going to have our hands full with this little wiggle worm...haha! He also told us it looks like he has long legs...maybe we will have a tall little guy...who knows?! :) All the measurements showed that I may be a little further along than expected - about a week and a half - but not enough to change my due date with the doctor. So, we may end up with a January baby. I am just so excited to be able to start planning the baby's room and start getting everything lined up. My mom and I couldn't help ourselves after the appointment...we went and got a few really cute things for the baby. I am going to try and hold off on too much shopping until after my showers but geesh...baby stuff is just so cute!

My first baby shower is in Tulsa, Oklahoma this week (Thanks, Jessica!). I know it is going to be soooooooo much fun. The next two showers are in Texas the first week of October. After that I have a shower in Missouri the first week of November. Man, my schedule is crazy...but awesome!! :) Then it will be Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years...then Baby Time!! 

I just cannot wait to see Nathan hold his little boy. I got Nathan a few really cute things that I thought he would like for the baby. :)