Building good habits

Habit is a cable; we weave a thread each day, and at last we cannot break it.

~Horace Mann

This week I am counting Goal #1 as accomplished. Sunday I put my name on a list to join a women's bible study on Wednesday nights beginning on February 1st. I am very excited to meet some women in the church we are attending and to learn more about the book of James. I have completed Beth Moore studies before and even been to a live taping in Houston, Texas so I know that it will be full of inspiration for a life lived more focused on God. YAY!

So, on to setting Goal #2. As the quote above states, habits are not formed with one simple thread but with many threads woven over days and days to make a strong cable. I have been pondering this second goal for some time but I think I have always made this one a little more difficult than it has to be. I always heard that there was this magical number of days that you needed to do something to make it a habit. Well, apparently that is not true if you look into the research. In fact, they -the researchers- say that it is possible that some people are 'habit-resistant". LOL! That really cracks me up for some reason - probably because I feel like that describes me.

Anywho...Goal #2 is to begin reading my Bible daily.

~30 days in a row to meet the goal~ 

In a Sunday school class I attended recently, the teacher asked what we need to do to be more in tune with God's plan for our lives...the simple answer is to be in tune to His word and spend time in conversation with Him. On Sunday mornings, I am always amazed at how the preacher can spout out Bible verses in the middle of a sermon...not just the location but the entire verse, word-for-word. His son, who preaches sometimes in his absence, can do it too! AMAZING! I would love to have this skill for situations that I come across in daily life. In fact, there have been several times lately that I thought, "Oh, I wish I had a verse to share with this person to encourage them." Hopefully being more in tune to God will allow me to share with others so that they feel uplifted.

In other news, my little baby boy turned one year old last week! He enjoyed cake, presents, balloons, party hats and lots of fun time with family. Along with turning one he has learned to walk, is saying a few more words and is interacting with us in such a fun way. He is adorable and sweet. He is also testing his limits and setting some limits of his own. I am sure he will be an independent little guy...
although I am not sure where he might get that from. Ha! 

I took him to get his first haircut on Monday. Although I am not 100% happy with the cut they gave him, he does look cute. He looks so much older. I just cannot believe a year has already gone by. From what I hear, the years just go by more quickly as you go on. I am looking forward to the Spring (although January sort of feels like Spring so far) when we can get out in the backyard or go to the park and really play hard! He is going to have such a blast this year!!

I am so thankful for my sweet little family.

Changes

This post starts the beginning of a wonderful time - a new year - a mystery of things that are possible.

Nathan and I have made commitments to change many things this year and I am very excited. The first thing changing is my work schedule. I am hoping that sometime in February I will be going PRN (as needed) at the hospital, while I also work PRN for a couple of other companies. This restructuring of my schedule will allow me more time at home with my family!! :) With this change also come changes in Nathan's schedule. Less on-call weekends = more weekends home with us! We are very excited to slow down the pace of our lives at work so that we can gear up our lives at home a little more!

Another big change coming up soon...we will have a 1 year old in 2 weeks!!!! I would say that I can't believe it but each day that I look at him he looks more and more like a little man. He has the sweetest soul - the most precious laugh - and gives the best wet kisses. His newest achievements include saying the words "ball" and "door", taking up to 5 independent steps, and eating anything you put in front of him. :) On another note, I think a little bit of my stubborn side is coming out in him recently. This, I am sure, will only get worse as time goes on. Ha! I can't wait to let him dig into some cake and celebrate the day our hearts all melted at the sight of his face.

Instead of making resolutions this year, I am going to make single goals. As I reach each goal, I will make a new one. Haven't ever tried to do things this way so we will see how it goes.

Goal 1 - Find a Bible study. As our work and home lives start to transition, I am praying that God will lead us to a place of service for Him. I am not sure where to begin this search but something will come along. :)

Well, I guess that is about it for now. I am sure there will be other major changes in our lives as we make these changes. The journey of life is full of unexpected twists and turns.

It's Ethan's first Christmas season!

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November - A month of thanks-giving!

A few of my friends on Facebook are posting a daily item that they are thankful for. I thought that posting here would help me utilize my blog a little more this month. I am little behind so here goes...

I AM THANKFUL FOR...

1. A wonderful Christian family that has given me a firm foundation! I remember growing up watching my grandma and mom reading their Bible and their Sunday School lessons each week. I pray that I can be that sort of example for my son.

2. My husband who supports my every want and dream. He is an amazing husband and daddy! He is always caring, slow to anger and full of patience.

3. My baby boy, Ethan. He has given me a love I cannot put in words. He is a perfect little mixture of us both and has such a sweet, sweet spirit. I love watching him learn new things each day.

4. My sister, Elizabeth. She changed my life in so many ways she could not even imagine. LOVE YOU, LIZZIE!

5. Broadway Baptist Church. The first church I have found in Springfield that has filled me with a longing to move forward for Christ again.

6. My profession. Being a speech language pathologist is so fulfilling. Like any career, it has it's challenges but the joys are so much bigger. When I walk into work, I have a smile on my face. When I leave, I know I have made a difference.

7. Photographs. They give me the opportunity to look back at special memories and captures memories that I wish would linger. I know that the pictures I have taken of Ethan this year will be treasures for us for so many years!

8. Pizza! My favorite food. I could eat it every day...but I try not to...LOL!

9. Flowers. They remind me of my Grandma White. Sure do miss her.

10. Heated blankets in the winter. :)

11. Planes. I am so excited to fly to Texas for Christmas this year. Flying is going to give us so much more time with my family.

12. A short commute to work. I am so happy with our choice to move into Springfield this year. It gives us so much more time together. :)

13. Reese's peanut butter cups. They are just so yummy!!

14. Kind coworkers. I am so blessed to work in a Christian environment with so many coworkers who support each other.

15. Cookies, cakes and other sweet treats.

16. Fall decorations. They are putting out Christmas decorations way too early. I love pumpkins, corn stalks, acorns, etc.

17. Our home. It is a wonderful, safe place to raise our family.

18. Our garage. Parking inside on cold nights is awesome!!

19. Lazy days full of time with Ethan and napping. :)

20. Music. There is a song for every time in life.

21. Stephanie. She watches Ethan for us while we are at work. She cares for him so well and seeing his happy face when I pick him up lets me know what a fun time he has had every day!! Stephanie, you are amazing and such a God send!!!!

22. A good book. I have always enjoyed reading but got out of the habit during graduate school because of all the textbook reading. It feels so good to read for fun again. :)

23. Comfortable shoes. I don't know how women wear heels all the time. I love my working where I can wear tennis shoes!!

24. Nathan's co-workers. Today I had thanksgiving dinner with one of Nathan's co-workers and his family. They are such a blessing in our lives and have always been so kind.

25. Friends to go Black Friday shopping with. This shopping madness is crazy if you go it alone...ok, it is actually crazy if you go at all. Ha!

26. Ethan's precious smile after a LONG day of work. It makes any day joyful!

27. A random day off with Nathan and Ethan tomorrow. We are going to have fun, fun, fun!!!!

28. The opportunity to go part-time at work after the first of the year. It was a tough decision to make but I know that God will honor my decision to put my family above my career.

29. Christmas decorations. Even though I am not putting a lot out this year, just seeing them around the city makes me happy!!

30. The fact that December brings Christmas and good times with family in Texas. I cannot wait to spend some quality time with my family and let Ethan run around and destroy their house. :) Ha!

And those are the things I am thankful for in November 2011. :)

The Irresistible Wife

Wow...how times gets away from me. Ethan is 8 1/2 months old now. Crawling, pulling up, taking little steps as he plays with his toys. He is getting so big and strong. He says "da-da" ALL THE TIME! :) Nathan is quite proud...and honestly, I am proud for him. He is such a good dad. I couldn't ask for better.

Over the past month or so I have been quite burdened in my life in regards to church and my relationship with Christ. Growing up I was very involved in church and enjoyed all the relationships that I built there. I know that God has had me in his hands all this time, molding me into the person I am today. Although I know that he is with me, I have chosen to lead a life over the past few years that does not involve what he may have for my life. Nathan and I have started visiting a church recently that we both enjoy. The people are nice and the music is wonderful. Most importantly, the message and preaching touch me deeply and inspire me to make changes in my life.

Last weekend Ethan and I went to church by ourselves because Nathan had to work. The sermon was about "The Irresistible Wife." In short, I am a "good" wife but I don't think I am a Godly wife. A Godly wife is not a control freak like me, with something to say about every little thing...she calmly prays for her husband and follows him in the direction that God has set for their lives. Not that she doesn't have input but her words to her husband should be supportive in so many ways. I am praying daily that I will surrender to this type of living. I honestly believe that if I can let go of the control that I seek so much I will find a peace like I have never had before. For so long I have enjoyed the "chaos" of my life but suddenly I find myself longing for the calm of the day. I know that this calm can be found in Christ and the life I should be living in Him.

I am not sure what many of you will think of this post but I am ready to start a new sort of journey. One where I feel fulfilled and my family is full of joy. I want to commit to His purpose once again. So, here I go. Thanks for listening. :)

4 Months

Well, our baby is now a little over 4 months old! Time flies by so fast! I haven't blogged lately but it is hard to blog when you would rather be playing with a sweet little baby. :)

Overall, Ethan's first few months have been an absolute joy! He started sleeping through the night before 2 months old and with a few exceptions he is still sleeping extremely well. I still can't believe what a wonderful demeanor he has...always smiling, laughing and just enjoying life. He is now rolling over both ways, rolling from his back to his belly, holding up his head with his arms while lying on his tummy, putting weight on legs, creeping across the floor a little and so much more. Of course, as a speech pathologist, I would love for him to be way ahead when it comes to verbalizing...however, I think this little boy is going to be all about moving! He does coo and "talk" to us...it is like he is having a full conversation sometimes...so cute!

A little over a month ago we had quite a scare. Nathan and I noticed a slight ridge on Ethan's head and took him to his pediatrician to have it checked out. They were concerned that he had a condition where the skull bones fuse too soon. We were so worried since they sometimes have to do a major skull/head surgery if this is the diagnosis. Immediately, we asked for lots of prayer from all our friends and family. We got in to see Dr. Sami with St. John's very quickly and were OVERJOYED to find out that he only had a slight case of torticollis. The muscles on the left side of his neck were "too tight" causing him to lean his head to that side more often. We did a little bit of physical therapy and things cleared up pretty quickly. This experience has given me so much more empathy for parents who go through horribly scary experiences with outcomes not as positive as ours. The love you find for your child is so much different than anything you could imagine...and the pain you feel when something might be wrong with your child is excruciating. We are so blessed that Ethan is a happy, healthy baby. Thanks to everyone who said a prayer for our little boy. We could feel your concern and compassion for us... it was so comforting!

At his four month check-up, Ethan was in the 30th percentile for his weight and 50th percentile for height...up from 20th percentile for both at birth. He is definitely growing and learning with each new day. Can't wait to see what the next few months bring! :)

Ethan's Arrival

I have been meaning to sit down and write about Ethan's arrival but somehow have not found the time. Ha! Here is a little bit of the story of his arrival. :)

On January 17th, I went to the doctor and my blood pressure was beginning to elevate. They sent me to triage at the hospital for some tests and put me on bed rest. My first thought was..."Bed rest for three weeks?" I wasn't sure that I could make it, but apparently God knew I couldn't make it. On Wednesday, January 19th, Nathan and I went to the doctor's office prepared for another possible trip to the hospital. With my blood pressure going higher and my lab work not looking so hot they sent me to the hospital to be induced. I was filled with so many emotions - excitement, uncertainty, concern, joy...the list could probably go on. Nathan was obviously filled with one emotion - nervousness.

Just after getting settled in at the hospital

Once we arrived at the hospital, they got an IV started and began to induce my labor. I had been uncertain about having an epidural but once the nurse explained the risks of not having one with my blood pressure I opted to have one placed. This portion of the process was quite difficult for me because I am so afraid of needles. I am the girl that passes out every time I have my blood draw unless I lay flat...and I get weak just thinking about blood. Honestly though, looking back, I would do it again. It was almost painless and definitely relieved my pain completely.

**From this point until Ethan was born I remember little of what happened. Nathan had to fill me in a couple of days later.

A doctor came and broke my water. The fluid was apparently blood tinged and my doctor decided that internal monitoring of the baby was a good idea. Thank God they chose to do this because Ethan's heart rate began to drop with each contraction. I could not see the screen keeping track of his heart rate but Nathan said that you could just see the line plummet below "normal." Instantly there were about three or four more people in the room trying to reposition me so that Ethan's heart rate would become more stable. Initially they were not having a lot of success and were telling us that they would have to take me to do a c-section right away. My doctor was only 15 minutes from the hospital but they did not think we could wait that long. Nathan said that they threw scrubs at him and told him to change. Thankfully, they were able to get Ethan's heart rate climbing back up and we were able to wait for my doctor to arrive at the hospital to perform emergency c-section. By this time, I was shaking and scared. I didn't really know what was going on but I knew it couldn't be good.

My doctor came in and talked to me and then they took me to the operating room. Nathan had to wait in my labor and delivery room until they went back to get him. EVERYONE was so nice and understanding of my fear and uncertainty. I cannot count how many times they reassured me and made sure that I was doing alright. They brought Nathan in right before they began the procedure. He was so wonderful. The adrenaline of everything going on around him really gave him a strength to be there for me. Throughout the procedure I was very shaky...which, I now know, is apparently normal. At the time, I wasn't sure why I was shaking and kept trying to control my body. Most of the procedure was full of very odd sensations although I didn't feel any pain.

When Ethan was born I heard him cry almost instantly. Someone made a comment about how alert he was. He became quiet fairly quickly. I watched Nathan as he stood over Ethan while they cleaned him off and checked him over. Nathan took a few pictures. One of the doctors brought Ethan to me. I was able to touch his little leg and say hello. Once they got him all wrapped up Nathan held him and looked so proud. I will never forget these special moments.

Our first family photo :)

The remainder of my surgery took an added amount of time because of some excess bleeding that I had. By the time I left the operating room I was already starting to feel pain. Nathan and I took a few moments to get a couple of pictures before with us together as a family before they took me back to my room. Because of some issues with the IV line for my morphine, I was in quite a bit of pain for the next two to three hours. I have never felt a pain like this and do not really wish to feel that kind of pain again. In addition, I was very nauseated. Due to their concerns related to my blood pressure I had to stay on the labor and delivery floor for 24 hours. It was a long 24 hours. There are many other details of this part of my experience that I will spare you. I will just say that as much as having a c-section scared me, the aftermath of the c-section was very intense for me personally. I am not sure that this would have been the case if I had gone in prepared for a c-section...the whole process was quite overwhelming having not been ready for it.

On Thursday evening, a full 24 hours after Ethan was born, I was moved to a regular room on the Mother's Unit. I got a good night's sleep. The next morning I was soooooo hungry. I have never been so happy to order food in my life! Ha!

Another funny fact...I lost my voice while I was on labor and delivery...why, I am not sure. But for someone who loves to talk it was quite difficult for the next couple of days until my voice recovered. Over the next two days we had several visitors and enjoyed some very special moments with our new little one. On Saturday around noon they let us take him home. It was quite a crazy ride to meet Ethan for the first time but he is such a blessing in our lives. He was worth everything I went through and more. We are loving every moment we get to spend with him. :)

Calm and quiet little Ethan
6 lbs 9 ozs, 20 inches long
Born January 19, 2011 at 9:01 PM